Baseball fans!

Im not really a fan of baseball... I played as a kid and kind of just grew out of it. I like to go to games and drink some beer and watch with friends, but trying to watch it on TV blows. Being from Iowa, people here mostly root for the Cubs... and for that im sorry.

I know that most Cub fans are die hard... and this was the year that they were going to go all the way. It aint happening... sorry. This team just seems to lack the discipline needed to take it to the next level... oh yea.. and they lack a closer. From what I read and have seen (not that much) I know that without a closer your fucked, the cubs are fucked.

So in sorry to all you Cub fans. Just drink some beer and let it go until they choke next year.

Oh yea... if anyone knows anything about engines I have a problem with our bus... damn thing wont start. New starter and solenoid, the batteries are good, we have power to the lights and things, but nothing getting to the starter to turn the motor over. So if you have any suggestions they are appreciated.

Go Clones!
Learn it, know it, live it!
Turf

Funny of the Day

This is one of the best things i have read in awhile, i hope you all enjoy.

This story explains a lot of things. How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home?' As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your house.
The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter. The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion: The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.
This answers the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?' Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries). An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for.
This answers a third question after a night out 'What the hell happened?' With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of anothers and quite often lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.
Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences. For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS(Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.
The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the TAS Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.

PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.

Learn it, know it, live it!
Turf

B-day party

On saturday night i get to go to a birthday party. For my wifes aunt. It will be hell. I would go into detail but then it would just turn into something hateful, and its friday so whats the point in that.

We dont ever see these people, or have anything at all in common with them, but yet we have to go. Yea! They are even having at a place where i dont thing that i can get any beer, so my father-in-law and i will have to down a couple before we go.

At least i get to play some golf on saturday, that should be fun, plus i will try and get the doors on the yard barn this weekend. Im totally tired of all the shit in my garage and having to park in the driveway. I will try and post a picture when i get it done. No Clone football this weekend, so i will have to watch the Hawks instead.

Have a good weekend and for those in Florida... take the hint and move, another hurricane is coming your way.

Learn it, know it, live it!
Turf

Fun and Games

Man I really had a busy weekend. We had some friends come down from Minneapolis and some from Charles City. It was a great time. We dont get together with our friends as much as we used too because it always seems that we are busy with family things.

Saturday we went to the ISU/NIU football game. As per usual we start tailgating early so you can get your drink on before the game. A little booze, grilling out, and hanging with friends and family. We a great day. After 2 1/2 quarters of agony the Clones finally stepped up and won the game. It was a beautiful day, not too hot or cold just about right for football. We took my daughter to her first football game and she seemed to enjoy it. The women left early to take the kid home and just relax (they arent hard core like us), so we stayed a little after the game and drank a couple more beers.

Everyone came over to our place after the game for a cookout. Its a little hectic now with the kid, she is perpetual motion so you cant really just sit and relax, but i wouldnt trade it for the world. We grilled up some kabobs and drank some more beer. After dinner we headed in to watch the Iowa game, and play some trivial pursuit. The men ruled. We always do. I seem to a have a bunch of worthless knowledge that the beer cant seem to get rid of.

Everyone left on sunday, so i helped out the neighbor with his shed. Mine still isnt done but what the hey. Got to watch some football, wich is nice, and generally just took it easy.

Yesterday plain old sucked. Im working on this huge project that is just a fucking nightmare. People call the day before or the day of wanting something and expecting you to hop to. Bastards. So today is a little better. Not as busy but i can just feel it waiting in the wings to jump on me like a cat on a mouse.

Hopefully it will wait awhile and the snow will come.
Learn it, know it, live it!
Turf

Damn busy

Sorry to my 4 loyal readers... its been super hectic at work so i havent had a lot of time. It will all come back together soon, I promise. I just need it to snow so work slows down and i have a little more time.

It was a great first weekend of football. First i got to see a great game on saturday. My clones barely lost to the hawks but it was a good game. There were a lot of positives to be taken from the game.

On sunday i didnt get to see much football (played golf) but i did get to see the Broncos lay the wood the Chiefs. I love it!

Learn it, know it, live it!
Turf

Damn!

Its a pain in the ass to find midget wrestling midget photos... but i found one!


I can't believe that is already Wed. its great. The week is almost over and then we get to see more football. I cant tell you enough how much I love the game of football. We are making a road trip in the Bus to Iowa City for the big intrastate rivalry between the Iowa State Cyclones and the Iowa Hawkeyes. It should be a good game. We havent lost in Iowa City since 1996! Thats beautiful. Go CLONES!

Also this week is the NFL season kick off... I cant wait to have my sundays sucked up by sitting my ass on the couch and watching football. I just need to finish some shit this fall but what the hell, its football.

Later.

Learn it, know it, live it!
Turf

Freaks!

Holy shit... You would not believe the freaks that are hitting my site... All kinds of kinky shit involving midgets. I really need to get some pictures or links the freaky midget shit.

Went to my first football game of the year... It was fucking hot. I mean like hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wools sock hot! We tailgated, drank, grilled, and roasted. The game was great. My Cyclones were underdogs and ended wining by 23, allowing only 99 yards of offense and no points. A great showing. Next week the big test against the hated Hawkeyes! I hope we kick there ass.

Worked on the yard barn again. Trying to get it done so I can set a film studio for my midget porn that I'm filming. Ok, not really but I need to get some shit out of my garage and its getting late in the year. Other than that we just hung out.

Had the scariest moment of my parenting life yesterday. My little girl was playing while I was working on the shed... Apparently she wasn't paying attention and ran right into the ladder. Right in the middle of her forehead. She started crying and ran to her mom. She was crying so hard that she wasn't breathing and she actually passed out for about 2 secs... Jesus... I thought she had a concussion, or worse. Talk about feeling helpless. I hope something like that never happens again, I cant handle the stress... She is fine, no signs of concussion or anything else so we got that going for us.

Later, I need to work.

Learn it, know it, live it!
Turf

FINALLY!

I have accomplished my goal. I am the world wide headquarters for naked wrestling Lithuanian midgets dipped in ice cream!
Thanks for everyone that helped.

We had our fantasy football draft last night (yes im a dork) and it sucked... im terrible, and i have no one to blame but myself. Oh well, at least its entertaining and its football so its all good.

Ive decided i need to start beating peoples asses that dont know how to drive. I got cut off on the 20 minute drive to work this morning 4 times, and had to drive at least the speed limit or less in the left lane for many a mile because people are stupid. Get out of the way. If your not moving with the flow of traffic then dont get in the left lane. Stupid pricks.

I hate people.

Learn it, know it, live it!
Turf